World Book Day

The sun was shining as Mug jumped into the car ready to take the youngest two monsters to school. She had had a great morning so far because Roo was marching around the house tidying bits up and emptying bins. This was not done for love – no – this was done because Roo’s boyfriend was coming over for dinner that evening and everything had to be perfect. Mug wondered if she should retrieve the filled black bin bag from the black bin and accidentally march it back up two flights of stairs and tip it back over Roo’s bedroom floor and deny all knowledge of it; in Mugs eyes this would be divine retribution for the lifetime of ‘tidy’ that Roo in particular liked to destroy. Mug fantasised about visiting her fully grown, mature adult children in years to come – she dreamt that she would ‘scatter’ their sofa cushions on the floor, because you know, the floor is lava and all that shit and then use them to jump to the kitchen where she would drink all the milk and leave ‘My Mug’s a total nutter’ to go off on the side. And it wouldn’t have been Mug, because it’s never her and why does she always get the blame?

With the sun in her eyes Mug happily drove up toward the main road. Much to her surprise the paths were filled with despondent Mugs with their cheery offspring who were nylon clad in a multitude primary colours; A Cat in the Hat, Tinkerbell… “Duck me” exclaimed Mug “it’s World Book Day! It’s World Book Day!” A sense of sheer relief washed over Mug like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day – this was the first year in 17 years that Mug didn’t have stress her aching brain about what outfit to make or buy, nor did she have to search the loft for the Harry Potter outfit which had routinely been in use since 2008. Mug drove past another Mug whose head was hung low and who wore sunglasses to most probably conceal her morning tears and the extra lines which had magically etched themselves around her eyes overnight. Mug momentarily pondered whether to shout ‘LOSERS’ out of the window, but decided against it as it wouldn’t have been very nice, but then a song began to hum in her head, that ‘things can only get better’ and she thought that maybe the nice thing to do would be to get her old 90’s CD out of the loft and blare it out to all the wine filled Mugs after school, like a moral boosting carnival cart/float sent to give them hope.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to wear anything stupid ever again” exclaimed Pickle also with a sense of relief. “Yeah just make sure you don’t ever work for Tesco then” replied Mug who was still scarred from wearing huge ‘rubbish shoot’ legged trousers.

After dropping the monsters off, Mug settled down to do some work, but first, as she always did, she checked her Facebook to try and find an actual status posted by a friend; any friend, instead of the constant stream of memes that filled her newsfeed. Today she was in luck, for the whole of her newsfeed was filled with photos of ducking World Book Day and statuses about how much they loved making and dressing their cherubs up. Mug thought that if that wasn’t a ‘social mask’ right there then she was a Royal Dalton polka dot china tea cup after all.

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