The Dog

‘Mug, I’ve got something to ask you’

*FFS* Mug’s heart sank. She could tell by the tone of Leroy’s voice that the ask was in actual fact a plead.

‘What my lovely responsible grown-up daughter? What would you like to ask?

‘I’ve found an abandoned dog….’

‘Of course we can keep it’ Mug didn’t say.

‘But please, he’s so cute, he’s so little and he really loves me! He wouldn’t go near my skanky, useless, good for nothing boyfriend; he just wants me.’

‘I’ll think about it.’

‘Thank you Mug! You’ll love him! He has to go to the rescue place to try and find his owners, but he was thrown out of a van, so I don’t think anyone will want him.’

A week passed while Mug mulled over the prospect of having a dog for the first time ever. Leroy convinced Mug that she would walk the dog, pay for all the food and vet bills, and so slowly it dawned on Mug that she would become a Grand-Mug for the first time. This quite excited her to begin with; she had only ever had cats who had grown up with the monsters and two of those cats still remained. How would elderly cats react to a new dog? How would Mug speak with the dog; she was only fluent in cat? It was like having the boy monster all over again. But how exciting for the still-at-school teens to have a pet that did something more than sleep!

The time came to collect Woofalina as SHE became to be known; a vet visit revealed that he was actually a she with a urine infection, which a little bit of yogurt and Apple Cider Vinegar managed to clear up.

The early days with Woofalina were hard, Mug found it hard to stop Woofalina from chasing the cats; while helping out with dog walks involved carrying the little one to save her tiredy little leggies.

‘I’m going to work in half an hour Mug and I finish at 9pm. But then I’m going to the pub and then town with the Squad, so you’ll be alright to have Woofalina until tomorrow won’t you?’

‘Of course – I’m going to embrace my new role as Grand-Mug and learn to cope with having what is essentially a TODDLER following me everywhere’ Mug didn’t say.

Mug pottered from room to room that evening, cleaning and tidying and watching a spot of Once Upon a Time when it took her fancy. Woofalina did too. That is, Woofalina didn’t clean up but she did watch TV while sighing heavily in a despondent manor because Mug-Mug wasn’t the gift of rough and tumble fun that teenage mum Leroy was. When it came to bed time Woofalina joined Mug-Mug in bed too, much to the disgust of Chu and Little Lady who felt their spaces had been violated by the smell of dog. Throughout the night Mug was woken by the sound of ‘lick lick’ ‘lick lick’ so much so that a good nights’ sleep was out of the question. Mug was only accustomed to the sound of her cats puking up cat biscuits in the dead of night.

Leroy returned home the following day looking like someone had rolled a bit of charcoal over her face, while Mug wondered if the smell of Apple Sourz was responsible for the melting effect on Leroy’s face.

‘Oh baby girl has mummy missed you! What have you got there? Mug. Mug. MUG…what has she got in her mouth?!’

‘Cat shit.’

Woofalina ran under the table with her fresh, un-packeted Pepperami and dodged Leroy and Mug’s attempts to retrieve her winning snack. As futile as it seemed, Leroy pulled the chairs out and snatched the shit with her bare hands: ‘I’m going to be sick! I’ve got poo on my hands!’

‘Yes sweetheart, that’s what parenting is all about; it’s about dealing with shit and loving it.’

A quick clean up and cup of tea later saw mother, daughter and Grand-Mug – three generations – happily sat on the sofa. ‘You know what Mug – I always knew I’d have a girl first.’


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